Sensational Dissertation and J2ME

First update batch, this one will be about Sensation and how school turned out.

Sensation 2009 I went alone to Amsterdam. As the years before I only stayed one night. Before going to sensation I had a burger with Steven and two of his friends at some place I don’t remember the name of. Two quite nice girls but haven’t met them since so haven’t really got much to tell about them. At sensation Annie was not with me as we didn’t become a couple until May. By then all Sensation tickets was sold out. At Sensation I met two local girls and a few guys from Argentina. The girls had purchased a Hello Kitty balloon before going to Sensation and had it with them inside, so they were dead easy to find. I don’t quite remember what drug it was that made them feel bad, but the GHB they got later saved the night at least. I personally stayed away from all drugs. Day after I had another burger with Steven, now at the restaurant which I had been two both the years before. They make a really nice cheeseburger. I headed home in some point in time, don’t really remember.

Sensation Amsterdam 2010
Sensation Amsterdam 2010

In the fall, last of October I think, it was time for Sensation again. This time in Copenhagen. This time it was me, Annie and grabs (friend in Malmö). Two of grabs friends were also going to join us at Sensation. Sensation itself was so, so. It’s never as good in Copenhagen as the Parken is quite a lot smaller than the Amsterdam Arena. It’s of course the same theme, wicked wonderland this year, all over the world each year, so I had already seen it once in Amsterdam. Unfortunately we never found grabs friends so we spent the evening as one couple and one friend, which is not the optimal mix of people when being at a party. At least if the friend is not looking for something to become a couple with.

Redwood in Amsterdam
Redwood in Amsterdam

This year I and Annie went down to Amsterdam and stayed for five nights. Went to the last Sensation for me as I really think they are loosing the Sensation feeling. It have become to much a matter of money and no longer a matter of spirit. We had a very nice stay in Amsterdam though with terrific weather. Visited the national museum, Van Gogh museum, diamond museum, took Annie to the purses and handbags museum (low ration males). We also went to Madame Tussauds and to the Amsterdam Botanical garden. Of all the places I liked the Botanical garden the best, especially their very nice redwood tree. I’ll write a longer post about this when I’m back home in Sweden and can attach some pictures that Annie took.

So over to school then. My dissertation went fine, got a C on it if I recall correctly, which I am totally satisfied with. I have now gotten my degree and I have only spoken with the partner once since we finished writing it, happened to run into her at the bus station. I have started to get over that part though and have mailed her a few times when she wanted to get in contact to get my as a reference for her job application as we wrote the dissertation together. But overall I’m happy to be done with that part of my life.

I got in on the Java for mobile devices course that was last summer. I attended class a grand total of two times. The first time was when we were to show the professor our project that we had made during the summer. I hadn’t put very much effort into this project and got a D, which I’m so very fine with. The second time I attended was for the exam, which I nailed with an all correct. So summer working with something and having a course about it at the same time is winning combination. Out of  the 200 study hours the course was, I might have spent around 40 on it.

Time, I has it

It has been quite a long while since I last wrote anything here. I guess there are two main reasons for that. Firstly, I’m currently writing my dissertation, which is due in a few days. Secondly, I have been feeling quite a lot of well for the last month and I usually write most when I don’t. Either way, this entry is long overdue.

Dissertation, a very boring thing to write. I’m writing about database management systems for geographical information system and the different criteria that affects the choice of which dbms to have. As I, as probably previously stated, attend the wrong institution, I’m not quite allowed to write about the things that I find really interesting. If I were to choose freely, I couldn’t care less about the different criteria. I would find it interesting to compare the different dbms against each other, develop some sort of test suite for them based on the OGC specification and the ISO SQL/MM specification. But, not allowed to do such technical things.

Besides being boring to write, it takes a whole lot of time. As many of my online friends probably have noticed, I don’t quite have time with the things I normally do. I’m still quite present on irc, but not as active anymore and I hardly done any development work lately. Today is the first day in quite a while that I’ve had time to actually do other stuff. Most of the dissertation is done and I’m now waiting for the one I’m writing it with to update the Conclusion.

If you have not yet written a dissertation and are forced, as we are, to write it in pairs, select your partner very carefully. I cannot stress this enough, having a partner you work well with is very important. I changed class in January as I’m skipping 2 semesters which I’ve already done so I hardly knew anyone in my new class. Thus I had to go with a partner for the dissertation that I did not know how it was to work with. The only thing I more or less knew was that she was interested in the more technical things. Later I found out that being interested does not mean the same as actually knowing much about it, I’ve been forced to help her with quite simple technical computer things, like using the cmd prompt. We don’t match up at all, and I look forward to the day (in perhaps 3 weeks) when I never need to see her again.

I’m writing the dissertation at a company at least, so it’s nice to have a switch of environment from the usual crappy university buildings. And speaking of companies, in 2 weeks time I start my summer work at Sony Ericsson. Something I rather look forward to. I was there last summer as well, but this time I’m going to be in with the developers and not the testers. Too bad it’s going crap for Sony Ericsson at the moment, as I could really have liked continue working there in the fall. They are however laying of people and not hiring, so I guess I’ll have to look around for something else. Which I guess I will start doing as soon as I start at Sony Ericsson.

I also applied for a summer course in java for mobile devices. I did that way late though so it’s unlikely I get to take it as I’m on the reserve list. If I do get to take it, it’s full time over the duration of the summer. I only intend to go to the mandatory lectures though, and to the exam of course. As I’ll be working with the same thing I doubt I’ll need to actually go to the university to learn anything. Hopefully I can even use the work thing as the project in the class. But, unlikely that I get to take it.

Now to the second part. I have been feeling very well for the past month with only one or two drops and not very serious one. I credit a lot of that wellbeing to the girl in the blue sweater, these days also known as my girlfriend. As most of you probably know, it’s been quite a few years since I last had a girlfriend, mainly due to my mental state. Either way, she’s very nice and I’m very happy to have her in my life. She’s in my class now and also writing her dissertation, so not all bad things from changing class at least, this totally weighs up for the dysfunctional dissertation cooperation. We spend quite a lot of nights together, but not so many days. During days, both weekdays and during weekends, one or both of us usually need to study, which we don’t do together as we’re in different groups. In the last week for example, I arrived at her place at around 22:40 and left again at 8:20 or something. We do meet quite a lot, but a lot of that time we’re sleeping. Or at least she is, I have trouble sleeping when with her, not used to it yet I guess and as I have trouble sleeping alone, having someone I care dearly about next to me does not make it easier. Today, depending on how you count and who you ask I guess, we’ve been together for a month, which we’ll celebrate by not meeting! Well, we might meet up tonight, nothing planned about it though.

Something that still amazes me, now that I am feeling better, is how fast that can change. About a week ago, I was at her place, had showered and while she was in the shower I just sat down doing nothing. And suddenly, without any reason at all, my mood dropped like a stone in the water. From being all good to being quite bad. As per usual, I had no idea why, and I did not want to worry her so I of course said nothing was wrong. Although I’m quite sure she saw through it but though it was for me to decide if I wanted to speak about it or not. Fortunately it did not stay very long that time. Still, it happened so very quickly and so very unexpectedly, which worries me a bit. [Correction: Was during her brushing her teeth etc., in the evening, I stayed the night!]

Being in a relationship with someone I like as much as her scares me a bit. It is not she that scares me, it is I who scare myself. I know, even though I’ve had a good month, that I’m still not quite alright. And I’m scared that I will hurt her quite badly when I some day hit a really bad low. Looking at history, what I do when I hit those is getting rid of people dear to me. It’s been a while since last, mainly cause I have not had many more people to get rid of, after all, I’m quite short stacked with friends. But there’s several people today that I wish I had treated differently. I so do hope she won’t be added to that list, and I fear that she might. At least she knows that I’m a bit fucked up so it’s not something I need to hide and I guess she’ll show some understanding. Even though it’s not something I feel she should need to show understanding for, no matter, she’s to be treated as she deserves and I’m totally certain she would not deserve that.

It’s time for sleep now, 2 am in the morning. I finally had some time to write, so there was a bit of an update a least. And by the way, I hate meetings!

Falsification

Falsification is the process in science of proving that a theory is incorrect by providing empirical proof that contradicts the theory. This Monday, I falsified my previous post! I yet again spent the evening with the same nice lady but this time there were no bad aftermaths. After I left her place, I sort of expected them, but as time passed I got more and more relieved when they didn’t show up. So I guess I’m left with the unknown reason for feeling like crap from time to time. I’m starting to get really fond of the blue sweatered girl, she’s nice to talk with, has a good sense of humour even if she does not always keep up with what I find interesting and thus funny. Being with her also feels quite demand free, which is really nice.

Today, I went to visit the law, which I probably not have written about in quite some time. She’s been busy, I’ve been busy and thus we have not had the time to meet up much lately. Today was kind of a disappointment. It felt very stale and uninteresting in general, and it does not seem we have that much in common to talk about. Her main interest seems to tell me about her life and especially the things that are a bit weirder, as if she’s seeking approval for still being accepted as normal or something.

Today was also the day the final assignment in the current course was to be handed in. The final lesson in the course is on Tuesday, a 1 hour seminar in smaller groups. As I have behaved well previously on the course, I only need 21 of the 70 points on this final assignment to pass the course. So I feel quite safe that I can put another course behind me, something that feels really good. Unfortunately, this does not mean it’s time for a bit of rest. The bachelor dissertation needs writing and looking at the schedule for the checkpoints and final seminar for it today, I got a bit worried about the time we have for it and getting all the pieces together. The next step for us to do is to decide what we really want to do and formulate a good problem around this. I think we quite agree about where our interest lies, but it needs to fit together with the schools demands as well. I see the most important part as getting a proper structure for working with it though, and I think the best way to get there is to start with proper 40 hours weeks at the office we were promised at the company where we’re conducting the research.

Tomorrow (today) I’m going to purchase a ticket to Sensation the 3:rd of July, so if you fancy meeting me, I’ll be there. It seems like I’m going alone this year. Last year I went with the law, which had both benefits and drawbacks. It’s nice to go with someone, but at the same time you don’t get to meet as much new people, which I really did the first time around when I went alone. Another drawback is also that you get bound to whoever you’re going with, if they’re not in the same mood as you about dancing and relaxing periods, it gets a bit annoying to have to adapt a bit. I had really nice company at Sensation in Copenhagen in November, unfortunately he can’t really afford a trip to Amsterdam this summer. Ticket release tomorrow is at 10:00, so I intend to get up at around 9:30 and fix some breakfast as I know by experience that it can take 1½ hour or more to actually be able to book a ticket.

Delay

And the pace has slowed down a bit again. Not much, but a bit. The last 2 weeks we had a bunch of 2000 words assignments to do in pairs. One of them left for this Friday and then one individual 4000 words assignment for the next Friday. After that, it’s all vacation. In my dreams! Going to write my dissertation and somehow I today agreed to handing some stuff in the 3:rd of April, so will be quite busy up till then. After that it will at least be a bit more nice and quiet during the Easter week. The current professor we got in the last course is so boring you almost want to kill yourself during the lectures. But at least she’s fast. It is not uncommon that we finish before hours and we always get back what we hand in for the next class. Quite opposite to the previous course, which we still haven’t gotten back 7 of the 11 assignments we handed in. The last of them was handed in the 6:th of March, so it’s sure about time we get some back. I don’t quite recall when we handed in the first of the ones we haven’t got back, but it’s quite likely he’s breaking the regulations for grading at university level. There’s a rule that says they got 15 workdays to grade stuff, and I think that might have passed by now.

There’s this TV show, Breaking Bad, which I watched a few episodes of. I decided not to watch any more episodes as it’s not very good. It’s about this professor at high school who finds out he has a form of lung cancer that’s not treatable and is going to die within a few months or so. He does not tell his family about this until they find out later for some reason I can’t remember at the moment. Either way, it got me thinking. What if I knew I was going to bed dead in three months, would I tell my family, friend and so on.

After thinking about this I think I have reached a conclusion. If it were treatable, I’d probably tell family but not friends and I would do so as soon as possible. If it however was not treatable, I think I would not tell my family, I would not tell my friends but I might tell some of the people I know online which I’m at a greater distance from, both physically but also emotionally. Of course, dying isn’t something you can do without people noticing, so I guess I’d wait telling family until symptoms of whatever illness I might have stats to show. Even if there are no symptoms, I think I’d tell the people I care about when I have about 1 month left. Will be a sucky month for sure, but I guess it would be good for them to be prepared and so on. I do care a little bit after all I guess. There’s one person I would want to tell, but not sure she’d cope well with it.

Brings me to the other side of this, for those who have seen The Bucket List knows what I’m talking about. Things you want to do before you die. As I’m not a travelling person, and don’t really care much about seeing the world, there’s not so many things I want to do before I die. I guess my main concern is talking with some people about some things, both good and bad. I also think I’d become a more open person, what’s there to lose if I’m to die in a month or two anyway? This is a quite interesting thought though. Because I’m smart enough to realize that I’d probably like life more if I was more open to start with, guess I’m afraid of getting hurt or just realizing life is even worse than I originally thought. When it comes to earthly things, I don’t think there’s anything special I want to do at least.

Anyway, 4:15 now and I should really head to bed, there’s a day full of studying tomorrow as well!

Forgot the damn title again!

A little more than a month ago, I wrote that the pace had picked up considerable since previous semesters. Little did I know that it was still going at a slow pace back then. The last 3 weeks I have done little more than studying. I’ve been to my friend in Malmö one time in the last few weeks and I’m lagging way behind on pretty much every series I normally watch. Sure, I liked the increase pace cause it felt like time was used better, but now I really long for a free weekend, with nothing to read or write. The upcoming weekend, I don’t think there will be anything to write at least, but one book and 3 articles to read over that weekend, so doubt I’ll have much time over. At least the book will be in Swedish. It’s not that I don’t like to read English, I do like that quite a lot, it’s just that it still goes faster to read Swedish.

All this studying has a down side that I really don’t like. I don’t have time to develop any of my little scripts and applications. It feels like I got a todolist that’s just growing and growing without much at all getting removed from it these days. There’s so many nifty little functions I want to add, and things to fix and change, but I just don’t have the time these days. Most people are talking about partying the upcoming weekend when there’s just lots of reading to do. But nerdy me will probably stay at home and code a lot. Feels a bit stupid to be honest when people ask, as they always do, on the following Monday: “So, did anything fun in the weekend?”. The coding answer usually don’t fall into their fun category.

At least there have come something good of all this studying, I’ve gotten to spend more time with the gal who sometimes wears a blue sweater. Think she did last time I saw her as well. She’s a really nice girl, even though she thinks I’m neardy. I really don’t know where she gets that from! Either way, she’s nice to talk to, seems to have somewhat the same general sense of humor even though some of the things I find funny are to computer hardcore for her to understand (xkcd stuff for example). She was one of the partners I had for my group assignment in the previous course, so got to meet her quite often. So far just in university setting, but gotten to know her a bit at least.

Tomorrow at least something pleasant will happen, today I got a text from the postal serivce. My new phone (w902) is waiting for me to pick it up in town. So after university tomorrow (today) I’ll head up there, and I can hopefully put it to use on Thursday. There’s nothing majorly wrong with the phone I currently have, it’s just majorly annoying. The little joystick thingy to navigate the menus with is semi-broken. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not. So when going through the contact list for example, you sometimes can’t go down, and sometimes you can’t go up. Left and right works better, but they’re also broken at times. I picked the w902 cause I’m so damn used to SE phones I didn’t consider getting anything else, and cause it’s a walkman phone but still got a pretty decent camera (same camera as in the c902). I’m quite sure I’ll be quite happy with it. Got the wine red model, which nobody had in the stores nearby, so had to order it online *sigh*.

Now, it’s past 3 am, I got university tomorrow (today) so things are still pretty much the same as usual. And as usual, time for sleep.