After I got employed at Sony Ericsson I started to look for a new place to live. It was a bit tricky to get the bank on board as I only had a project employment at the time and the financial crisis had hit Sweden. But switching banks and with the help of my father’s security I managed to get promised a loan so I could buy something for up to 1.5 million SEK. I went to look at quite a lot of places, probably twenty or so of them. Many of them were 2 minutes visits where you more or less instantly knew that you would not like to live there. There were quite a lot of interesting ones as well though and I was involved in bidding on two, or perhaps three, other apartments before I got the one that I currently live in. This was after looking for a few months and I had started to get tired of it, but I think it was good that I didn’t get the first ones I looked and bid at as I’m very happy with where I live now.

So the apartment I got is a single bedroom apartment on the third floor, 70 sqm large and built in 2003. I will post a bunch of pictures of it later when I’m back in Sweden. When looking for the apartment I also wanted to have the possibility for Annie to move in with me if our relationship continued developing in the right direction. She was with me on quite a lot of the viewings and I think that we today are both happy with the apartment.

From the apartment I got about 10-15 minutes on a bike to work depending on the weather. I also go by two different grocery stores on the way home from work so it’s all very nice. As Annie currently works in Malmö though, it’s not quite as practical for her, but I think she still likes where she lives. It’s located in a part of Lund that’s quite close to everything but in a very calm neighbourhood. I got a quite large balcony where Annie grows all kinds of weird things, I only got a chestnut growing out there, but it’s quite small so far.

Time, I has it

It has been quite a long while since I last wrote anything here. I guess there are two main reasons for that. Firstly, I’m currently writing my dissertation, which is due in a few days. Secondly, I have been feeling quite a lot of well for the last month and I usually write most when I don’t. Either way, this entry is long overdue.

Dissertation, a very boring thing to write. I’m writing about database management systems for geographical information system and the different criteria that affects the choice of which dbms to have. As I, as probably previously stated, attend the wrong institution, I’m not quite allowed to write about the things that I find really interesting. If I were to choose freely, I couldn’t care less about the different criteria. I would find it interesting to compare the different dbms against each other, develop some sort of test suite for them based on the OGC specification and the ISO SQL/MM specification. But, not allowed to do such technical things.

Besides being boring to write, it takes a whole lot of time. As many of my online friends probably have noticed, I don’t quite have time with the things I normally do. I’m still quite present on irc, but not as active anymore and I hardly done any development work lately. Today is the first day in quite a while that I’ve had time to actually do other stuff. Most of the dissertation is done and I’m now waiting for the one I’m writing it with to update the Conclusion.

If you have not yet written a dissertation and are forced, as we are, to write it in pairs, select your partner very carefully. I cannot stress this enough, having a partner you work well with is very important. I changed class in January as I’m skipping 2 semesters which I’ve already done so I hardly knew anyone in my new class. Thus I had to go with a partner for the dissertation that I did not know how it was to work with. The only thing I more or less knew was that she was interested in the more technical things. Later I found out that being interested does not mean the same as actually knowing much about it, I’ve been forced to help her with quite simple technical computer things, like using the cmd prompt. We don’t match up at all, and I look forward to the day (in perhaps 3 weeks) when I never need to see her again.

I’m writing the dissertation at a company at least, so it’s nice to have a switch of environment from the usual crappy university buildings. And speaking of companies, in 2 weeks time I start my summer work at Sony Ericsson. Something I rather look forward to. I was there last summer as well, but this time I’m going to be in with the developers and not the testers. Too bad it’s going crap for Sony Ericsson at the moment, as I could really have liked continue working there in the fall. They are however laying of people and not hiring, so I guess I’ll have to look around for something else. Which I guess I will start doing as soon as I start at Sony Ericsson.

I also applied for a summer course in java for mobile devices. I did that way late though so it’s unlikely I get to take it as I’m on the reserve list. If I do get to take it, it’s full time over the duration of the summer. I only intend to go to the mandatory lectures though, and to the exam of course. As I’ll be working with the same thing I doubt I’ll need to actually go to the university to learn anything. Hopefully I can even use the work thing as the project in the class. But, unlikely that I get to take it.

Now to the second part. I have been feeling very well for the past month with only one or two drops and not very serious one. I credit a lot of that wellbeing to the girl in the blue sweater, these days also known as my girlfriend. As most of you probably know, it’s been quite a few years since I last had a girlfriend, mainly due to my mental state. Either way, she’s very nice and I’m very happy to have her in my life. She’s in my class now and also writing her dissertation, so not all bad things from changing class at least, this totally weighs up for the dysfunctional dissertation cooperation. We spend quite a lot of nights together, but not so many days. During days, both weekdays and during weekends, one or both of us usually need to study, which we don’t do together as we’re in different groups. In the last week for example, I arrived at her place at around 22:40 and left again at 8:20 or something. We do meet quite a lot, but a lot of that time we’re sleeping. Or at least she is, I have trouble sleeping when with her, not used to it yet I guess and as I have trouble sleeping alone, having someone I care dearly about next to me does not make it easier. Today, depending on how you count and who you ask I guess, we’ve been together for a month, which we’ll celebrate by not meeting! Well, we might meet up tonight, nothing planned about it though.

Something that still amazes me, now that I am feeling better, is how fast that can change. About a week ago, I was at her place, had showered and while she was in the shower I just sat down doing nothing. And suddenly, without any reason at all, my mood dropped like a stone in the water. From being all good to being quite bad. As per usual, I had no idea why, and I did not want to worry her so I of course said nothing was wrong. Although I’m quite sure she saw through it but though it was for me to decide if I wanted to speak about it or not. Fortunately it did not stay very long that time. Still, it happened so very quickly and so very unexpectedly, which worries me a bit. [Correction: Was during her brushing her teeth etc., in the evening, I stayed the night!]

Being in a relationship with someone I like as much as her scares me a bit. It is not she that scares me, it is I who scare myself. I know, even though I’ve had a good month, that I’m still not quite alright. And I’m scared that I will hurt her quite badly when I some day hit a really bad low. Looking at history, what I do when I hit those is getting rid of people dear to me. It’s been a while since last, mainly cause I have not had many more people to get rid of, after all, I’m quite short stacked with friends. But there’s several people today that I wish I had treated differently. I so do hope she won’t be added to that list, and I fear that she might. At least she knows that I’m a bit fucked up so it’s not something I need to hide and I guess she’ll show some understanding. Even though it’s not something I feel she should need to show understanding for, no matter, she’s to be treated as she deserves and I’m totally certain she would not deserve that.

It’s time for sleep now, 2 am in the morning. I finally had some time to write, so there was a bit of an update a least. And by the way, I hate meetings!